Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Lord keep one hand on my shoulder and one over my mouth

For a while now God has been convicting me of a few things concerning my mouth. I have put up a good fight, but am now waving that white flag and conceding to the fact that my Lord and Father ALWAYS knows best.

I'll let you in on what God has been telling me and the verses he has shared to make his point, because I am a little slower than most in learning what he is trying to teach me, he uses a few different avenues.

Gossiping/judging: I think the two go hand in hand. I think I fall more into the latter one, but just the same, my lips are flapping when they shouldn't be. I am going to be brutally honest and really put my self out there, but how else can I be true to my God as well as myself. Most of my judging comes from being "funny" or a smart mouth,  it is second nature to me, that it what God is trying to break. I would say 99% of my judging is superficial . . .why would she wear those man shoes? why isn't her child potty trained? "idle" talk, useless words that strike down instead of lift up. Maybe making my self feel better or maybe something I see mirrored in that person that hits too close to home, I am not really sure why I do it, I just do. I rarely judge people on hardships or "real" issues, I've been through enough hard times to know better and to know how things can change from one minute to the next and another thing I don't do is tell people's business, God has taught me that lesson well. That said, that doesn't make what I do, less of a sin. Sin is sin. Well here are some of the verses he has whispered in my ear, in no particular order. . .

Ephesians 5:4 Obscene stories, foolish talk and crude jokes-these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.

Romans 14:12,13 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble or fall

Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; the you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend;s eye

Last but not least. . .

Matthew 12:36,37 And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgement day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you

So you see God doesn't intend for us to judge others but instead to love and lift up.

The second thing God has really been after me about is my cursing. I have a potty mouth, I REALLY REALLY try not to, but yet it's still there. How can I praise God one second and curse someone out with the same mouth in the next, I highly doubt that brings any glory or joy to God. so here are the verses for this. . .

Ephesians 4:29 Don't use any foul  or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them

Colossians 3:7,8 You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander and dirty language.

A good chapter to read is James Chapter 3

Maybe putting this out there will hold me more accountable. maybe it will make me more aware of when I'm dong it or maybe it will help me to actually listen to God's voice in my head instead of hearing it and still choosing to do what I want. All I know for sure is that I want to be a better person, a person in which people could see God through me without me having to open my mouth, but just by the way I live my life. What better testimony is there than that?

Friday, January 20, 2012

Beside me all along.

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life, as I stood with Moses, so i will never leave you or forsake you" Joshua 1:5

This is the verse that has gotten me through the ordeal of the past six years, but more precisely, through this last year. I have had to fight for my right to be free from someone that I was no longer compatible with and for the right to continue to be a mother to my son. My son. . .it feels almost as if I've dreamt him up. One moment we were two peas in a pod, inseparable in a sense  and the next I have missed 6 years worth of birthdays and Christmases, teachers conferences and the changes that go from being a child to a young man. I am not going to lie, it has been the hardest thing i have ever had to do, to fight. Fight constantly, without quitting, but I have not fought alone, God has fought for me, with me and send angels to fill the gaps and lift me when I couldn't fight anymore. He has taught me so many lessons, but the greatest of those has been faith. I have failed him miserably in this, I have lost faith at times and believed that he had forgotten me. He never gave up on me, just loved me, walked beside me, held my hand and reminded me that he was there and that I could trust him. When we were going through court, it seemed that no matter how much I followed the rules and how much others didn't, things just did not seem to go the way I thought they should. I was angry at the injustice of the whole situation, but God had a plan that I had yet to see. His plan has been better than any plan that I could have for myself. His timing has been perfect all along. In his design, I had the opportunity to see his love in others as they helped us and at times carried us through. From our church family praying and raising money, the moms group donating for a yard sale, my parents and S buying plane tickets, people on both ends here and Ca, stepping in and making sure that we were taken full care of, it has been amazing and we would never had had the opportunity to see and experience any of that without this going as it has.It has made our hearts long to expand and reach out as well. He hes never left us or forsaken us, he has only loved us and stretched us, to make us who we need to be for his glory. The ordeal isn't completely over, but I am no longer afraid and look forward actually to see what he has for us next.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Chester's Freedom

A few month's before we moved to Washington, Chester and I had gotten a ticket, it was a normal misdemeaner ticket, we were supposed to go to court and pay it. Before court we moved out here and missed our court date. Warrants were issued and we went back thinking we would just have to pay a large fine and move on. That was the case for me but not for Chester, because he go into trouble when he was younger they wanted to make his into a felony and give him two years in prison. Needless to say we were a little stressed. So they set up a court date and we went, but they had to continue it for 6 weeks. This happened at least 3 more times, we went back and forth to California, they just kept continuing it for 6 weeks. On our last trip we all had a feeling that that would be it, we figured they couldnt continue it forever and we had been praying non-stop as well as our church was and were prepared for what was to come. We go to court, things don't seem like they are going in our favor and right when we feel like the judge is going to have Chester taken into custody, he looks down at the paperwork and we could see he is thinking and looking at us and all of the sudden he says that the time limit in which they can convict him was surpassed by 3 days and the case was dismissed. This just goes to show you that everything is in Gods timing, he was waiting for us to really submit ourselves to his will, not worry, not try and fix it all, but to give ourselves and out situation over to him and TRUST him. We were so frantic, we had to keep going back, a waste of time and money, why couldnt they just make a decision already. God had a plan, he stretched it out perfectly so that Chester could be free. I've never cried so many tears of joy. We praise him for that miracle still today.

Thanks Andrea

My friend Andrea posted this today and I found it to be such a blessing. The Lord is always sendings us gifts and intructions on how to contiually seek a relationship with him and how to become more like him.

Litany of Humility

by Merry Cardinal del Val, secretary of state to Pope Saint Pius X

"O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, O Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it."